Scary Close
By Donald Miller
Below are my notes and key hi-lighted passages from Scary Close. (Italics = quotes from the book. Bold = my personal notes)
“We’re all amateurs when it comes to love and relationships”
“When studying stories I noticed the strongest character in a story isn’t the hero, it’s the guide. It’s the guide who gets the hero back on track. The guide gives the hero a plan and enough confidence to enter the fight.”
“When animals feel threatened they make themselves appear bigger. It’s true with people - they often make themselves appear better than they are in order to attract others and protect themselves from threats.”
“We don’t think of our flaws as the glue that binds us to the people we love, but they are. Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can’t accept their imperfections can’t accept grace either.”
“The harshest people I’ve met over the years have had two things in common: they don’t fully trust anybody, and they view relationships as a means to an end.”
“Somewhere along the line I think many of us buy into the lie that we only matter if…. We only matter if we are strong or smart or attractive or whatever.”
Leaders can fall into a trap of thinking they are significant, not because of who they are or the level of their character, but instead because of the positions of power and leadership they hold.
“Having integrity is about being the same person on the inside that we are on the outside, and if we don’t have integrity, life becomes exhausting.”
“The reality is people are impressed with all kinds of things: intelligence, power, money, charm, talent, and so on. But the ones we tend to stay in love with are, in the long run, the ones who do a decent job loving us back.”
“Healthy relationships happen best between healthy people. I’m not just talking about romance. I’m talking about friendships, neighbors, and people we agree to do business with.”
“Nobody’s self-worth lives inside of another person. Intimacy means we are independently together.”
“The greatest leaders, the ones who impact the world the most, are somehow able to turn the other cheek. It’s as though they believe so solidly in love, so robustly in forgiveness, they have the ability to forgive and even love those who attack them.”
“I’d rather earn the money than win the lottery because there’s no joy in a reward unless it comes at the end of a story.”